November is National Family Caregivers Month

This blog was originally published in June 2021. It has been updated and republished in recognition of National Family Caregivers Month.

You might know or be a family member, friend, or neighbor who actively cares for someone with physical, cognitive, or mental needs. If so, you are likely a caregiver. A great deal of time, patience, and costs are associated with being a caregiver for someone. Many are often unaware of the long-term commitment it takes to care for or supervise someone with new or long-standing challenges. 

Each November, caregivers are recognized across the country through National Family Caregivers Month. This annual acknowledgement shines a light on issues specific to caregivers, education, and resources to support care-giving needs. 

It is estimated that there are between 40 to 50 million Americans who provide unpaid care-giving services to family members, friends, or neighbors in their community. Caregivers often encounter obstacles not only related to the care of a loved one, but also maintaining their own health and well-being. They may have few if any other people to talk to and confide in, or they may be juggling their own professional life with the care of a loved one.

Burnout is a term that is frequently associated with employment, defined as “physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress”. Considering that care-giving is more often than not equivalent to taking on a part or even a full time job, burnout can also occur within this context. 

Imagine your attention being tugged in multiple directions - helping to manage new medications; driving to and from different physicians and therapists; having to monitor a new diet; supervising for safety; encouraging engagement in activities; practicing therapy exercises at home. Before you know it, the day has passed you by and there may still be personal matters that you have yet to attend to.

Even as a caregiver, you have to take care of YOU as well. The saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup” has never been more true. You must reclaim your time and “fill your cup” as well, which may mean carving out time daily to address your needs.

So, what does taking time for yourself look like? Depending on your needs, each outcome can be different. Consider if some of the following options can work for you. 

• Be Present: None of us know what life will look like six months to a year from now, particularly when you consider the complex nature of many acquired neurological conditions (e.g., dementia, traumatic brain injury, stroke). Today’s gains help fuel tomorrow’s successes. By focusing on the more immediate needs now, you help set a greater foundation for the future. 
  
• Live Life: As a therapist, I do understand how important it is to get in repetitive practice with skills both in and outside of therapy in order to see progress towards goals. However - we all have lives. Therapy does not need to consume your life 24/7. There is a time and place to reinforce certain skills. Set aside time when it is feasible to focus on therapeutic exercises, and then go about your day! There is no reason for you and the person you care for to both experience burnout.
  
• Do Double Duty: If your loved one is in therapy or perhaps taking a rest during the day, see if you can use that time to take care of your needs. Perhaps it allows you to step away for a bit, answer phone calls, read a book, listen to music, or just decompress. The key is to not have your needs always sit on the back burner - YOU are important too.
  
• Form Connections: It can be good to find other caregivers who are also going through - or have gone through - similar circumstances. Oftentimes meeting with others also reveals additional resources or support systems that can be utilized to ease caregiver burdens. Many of the organizations on our Resources page have in-person or virtual support group options that can help cater to this need. 
  
• Ask for Help: No one can do it all. If you are able to, consider outsourcing or delegating tasks to others. In some instances, that might also include the person who is the recipient of the care-giving. I have seen caregivers take on ALL the responsibilities for someone with acquired or developmental needs, only to later demonstrate that a patient is more than capable than taking on some of those responsibilities (but may need a bit of practice doing so - which is where therapy comes into play!). This sounds easy, but may be one of the most challenging options for caregivers to work through, because it requires a shift in mindset - recognizing and accepting what others can do as opposed to what you can’t do. 
  

Are you a caregiver who has dealt with burnout? How are you working through it? Leave a comment below, and contact Cognition, Speech & Language if you need guidance navigating your needs as a caregiver. 

References:

• AARP: November is National Family Caregivers Month
  
• Administration for Community Living: National Family Caregivers Month
  
• Mental Health America: National Family Caregivers Month