Navigating the Holiday Season as a Neurodivergent Adult: Tips from a Speech-Language Pathologist

The holiday season can be a time of joy and togetherness. Still, for many neurodivergent adults, it can also bring sensory overload, social pressures, and changes in routine that make it difficult to navigate. As a speech-language pathologist working with neurodivergent adults, I’ve seen firsthand how this time of year can be exciting and overwhelming. With that in mind, I want to offer some practical tips for neurodivergent individuals and advice for their neurotypical family members, friends, and co-workers on understanding and supporting varying needs this holiday season.

Tips for Neurodivergent Adults

Set Boundaries and Communicate Them Early
The holiday season often brings a flurry of social invitations, gatherings, and traditions. It’s okay to say no or to modify your participation to fit your needs. Be clear with yourself about what activities or environments you’re comfortable with and communicate those preferences ahead of time. For example, if a family dinner tends to run late and you know you'll need a break, let your host know early on or set a clear departure time.

Create a Sensory Escape Plan
​Crowded spaces, bright lights, and loud music are common during the holidays but can be overstimulating. If you find yourself in a situation where sensory overload becomes overwhelming, have an escape plan ready. It might be helpful to identify a quiet room at a family gathering or bring noise-canceling headphones or sunglasses to cope with over stimulation. Don’t be afraid to excuse yourself for a few minutes of calm when you need it.

Stick to Your Routine as Much as Possible
The holidays often mean changes in schedule, travel, and time off work, which can disrupt routines. Try to maintain as much of your daily routine as possible. If you have a morning routine that grounds you or specific rituals that help you regulate throughout the day, prioritize them, even if the rest of your day looks different. A familiar routine can help reduce anxiety when other aspects of your life feel unpredictable.

Use Self-Advocacy Skills
The ability to advocate for your needs is vital, especially during the holidays when expectations can be high. Whether it’s asking for a quieter seat at the dinner table, requesting specific foods you’re comfortable with, or explaining why you need a break, self-advocacy empowers you to create a more manageable and enjoyable holiday experience. Practice how you’ll articulate these needs in advance if it helps.

Prioritize Self-Care
Remember, the holidays are meant to be enjoyed, and part of that is taking care of yourself. Plan for downtime where you can recharge, whether that means spending a quiet evening with a favorite book, watching your favorite shows, or engaging in a hobby that helps you relax. Don’t feel obligated to participate in every holiday activity. Your well-being comes first.

 Tips for Neurotypical Allies

As a family member, friend, or co-worker of a neurodivergent person, you may want to support them during the holidays but might not know how to best do that. Here are a few ways you can be a thoughtful ally:

Ask for Preferences
Don’t assume you know what will work best for your neurodivergent loved one. Simply asking them what they need or how they would like to participate can go a long way. Some might appreciate quieter, smaller gatherings, while others might enjoy larger events with accommodations. Respect their answers and let them know there is no pressure to conform to holiday norms.

Be Flexible and Open-Minded
Understand that your neurodivergent loved one may need to adjust plans last minute or opt out of certain events. It’s not a reflection of their feelings about you or the holiday—it’s about managing their sensory and emotional well-being. Avoid judgment, and be open to changing plans if it helps them feel more comfortable.

Create Sensory-Friendly Spaces
If you’re hosting a holiday gathering, try to create an environment that’s inclusive and sensory-friendly. You can dim bright lights, keep background music at a lower volume, and provide quiet spaces where people can retreat if they need a break. Small adjustments can make a big difference for those who experience sensory sensitivities.

Support Their Self-Advocacy
When a neurodivergent person advocates for their needs, support them in that effort. This could mean helping explain their need for a break to others or making sure the environment is adapted to accommodate their preferences. Encouraging open communication and advocating for accommodations alongside them reinforces your support. 

Avoid Putting Pressure on Participation
There’s often pressure during the holidays to “join in the fun” or to participate in traditions. Be mindful not to pressure your neurodivergent loved one into activities that might make them uncomfortable. For example, they might not want to engage in small talk, participate in gift exchanges, or be part of loud group games. Respect their boundaries and recognize that their way of celebrating might look different from yours.

The holiday season can bring unique challenges for neurodivergent adults, but with careful planning, self-advocacy, and understanding from loved ones, it can also be a time of connection and joy. As a speech-language pathologist, I encourage neurodivergent individuals to take the lead in advocating for their needs and setting boundaries that honor their mental and sensory well-being. At the same time, I urge neurotypical family members, friends, and co-workers to listen, be flexible, and create inclusive spaces where everyone can celebrate in their way.

Together, we can make the holiday season a more inclusive and enjoyable experience for all.